Child friendly holidays are all well and good, but any parent knows the struggle of going away with your little ones in tow! Children, we love you, but you can also drive us bonkers!
1. Soft toy withdrawals
Just you’re approaching the destination, you hear those dreaded words…‘Did you remember….? [insert name of treasured soft toy they’re going to absolutely bananas without] Nope, sorry you forgot Sweetie The Teddy/Buddy The Bear/Lancelot The Pony and now no other soft toy will apparently do.
2. Dirty looks
Okay, I have a small child who has been crying since what feels like beginning of all time. And yes, you might be trying to enjoy a romantic meal for two, but I’m trying my best to placate them with cooing noises and a stuffed dinosaur as my only ally. So give me a break!
3. The blame game
‘She started it,’ ‘no he started it,’ ‘she hit me first,’ ‘he called me ugly’. Somehow you’ve got to be Judge Judy, drive the car and navigate your way to North Wales all at once. Relaxation central.
4. Child envy
So your little one’s been sleeping soundly the entire flight while you flick through InStyle with your perfectly manicured nails sipping elegantly on a G&T. I’ll just get back to cleaning up the spaghetti that’s been launched at my face. No biggie.
5. Unfortunate sleep patterns
Goodness knows why they must stay awake for the ENTIRE plane journey, then drop off just as the plane’s about to land. Then somehow you’re the bad guy when you have to wake them up!
6. Sticky faces
Could not one little bit of that ice cream have gone in your mouth? Nope, okay then.
7. The ‘FAB’ effect
It’s guaranteed that when you FINALLY lather on the factor 50 after an elaborate game of mum & suncream VS tiny human, they’ll take a nosedive right into the sandpit and emerge covered head-to-toe. Known as the ‘FAB Ice Lolly’ effect and know to increase blood pressure, especially when it comes to showering it off!
8. Reading déjà vu
Funny, it feels like I’ve read this page before… Maybe it’s because I have, several times. Just before we needed to go to the beach/pool/room/café/toilet AGAIN.
Stickers will become your new best friend. Big ones, small ones, shiny and glittery ones, as long as they’ll keep the little ones amused!
10. ‘Are we there yet?’
Usually said just before you turn the key in the ignition/board the train/enter the departure lounge. Then repeated, usually in a very whiney voice. No we are not bloomin’ there yet.
Because it doesn’t matter whether you’re in a beautiful restaurant with stunning harbour views with a mouthwatering selection of fresh fish and seafood, ‘I want turkey dinosaurs and KETCHUP.’
But hey, it was still the best holiday ever, right? 😀