counsellor: my best friend betrayed me

Q: I was meant to go out with a friend for dinner recently, but she cancelled at the last minute by texting me to say she wasn’t feeling great. A few days later I was on Facebook and saw pictures of my friend at a dinner party that I later discovered had been on the same night. I’m devastated that my friend blew me out by text to go to this other event. I know I need to say something, but what?

Katy, Hertfordshire

A: I’m so sorry your friend behaved this way. The best advice I can give you is to say something sooner rather than later.

Stick to the facts – that you saw pictures on Facebook that led you to believe that your friend cancelled on you to attend this other dinner party.

Say that you feel hurt, angry and disappointed. You may also want to make a recommendation such as ‘I really think I deserve an apology from you’.

Finally, please avoid the temptation to do any of this via email or text. It may seem like the easy option, but it usually just causes more misunderstanding and adds to the bad feeling.

Emma Marlin, Counsellor


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