Counsellor: I've lost my selfesteem

Q: My school reunion is coming up. I lost my job last year and have gained a lot of weight. My husband said I shouldn’t let that stop me going, but I’m not sure he understands. I feel fat, ugly and its as if my self-esteem has just vanished.

Kiely, Worcs

A: I’m really sorry to hear about your job. I know, from my own job losses over the years, how challenging it can be to feel good about anything, when work is taken away.

I don’t want to oversimplify what is a very complex issue, but I do want you to go to your school reunion, so here’s s three step plan to help you get there.

1. Listen to your husband. Lots of people, and that includes your old school friends, will empathise with what your going through. They won’t judge you as harshly as you’re judging yourself. Chances are you will meet other people in the same boat as you!

2. See your reunion as a networking opportunity. Here’s a great chance to tell people that already know you that your looking for new job opportunities. Remember, in the current job market, its not just what you know, its who you know?

3. Start walking. A daily walk will boost those important feel-good hormone levels and give you the chance to listen to a fantastic audiobook called confidence in a minute by Tony Wrighton. It’s available on i-tunes for £6.95. It’s a great step-by-step guide to getting back in touch with your self-esteem. It’s also available to read through your local library or from

Emma Marlin, Counsellor


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