Counsellor: Divided by divorce

Q: A year ago, my oldest friend left her husband. I tried not to take sides, but it hasn’t been easy. Recently she discovered we’d invited her ex for dinner and now she’s not returning any of my messages. I’ve always been there for her, so I’m very confused as to why she’s acting this way and worry it may be because of all the talk of divorce.

Judith, Newcastle

A: It’s so hard to stay neutral when a couple you’re close to split up.

It sounds like you’ve done a great job of supporting both partners, which is why I’m sad to hear your friend is not returning your calls.

Her behavior does seem very childish. I do wonder, though, if she slipped into a depression and decided to isolate herself by not phoning anyone back?

If her behaviour really is unusual, go and see her at a time when you know she’ll be in. it’s probably best to get to the bottom of it, whether she’s sulking or suffering, so you can respond appropriately.

Emma Marlin, Counsellor


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