Counsellor: My kids don't like my new man

Q: I’m 46 and divorced with two kids, aged 13 and 15. I’ve met a great man and who I love and who loves me. He wants to marry me and to be a family. The problem is that my kids don’t really like him. He tolerates them but I’m not sure he will ever love them. After the thing they’ve said to him, I can understand why. Is it wrong to marry a man who loves me but doesn’t love my kids?

Leanette, via email

A: Second marriages can often be much harder work than first ones, with stepchildren being only one factor. But you can make yours a success story. Here are three steps to get you started.

1. Realising the issues that sunk your first marriage (and his) need to be acknowledged. Otherwise you are likely to repeat them.

2. This man and his proposal is a new beginning. But to your kids, who have lost their family unit as they once knew it, this man represents.

Emma Marlin, Counsellor

 

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